Crazy Train-ramblings and incoherency

Ozzy said it best, "Mental wounds not healing, life's a bitter shame. I'm going off the rails on a crazy train." My crazy train derailed years ago. The caboose jumped tracks and the little engine that could, just won't.

For some reason May, which should be a fabulous month for me, is sucking ass. I am disinterested in most things that usually hold interest for me, except music. Music has suddenly taken on a whole new meaning for me. When I feel myself being eaten away, I slap on my headphones, turn the volume way up and just escape in to the sounds and lyrics. I think it's keeping what small amount of sanity I have left intact.

I remember long car rides on nice days with my sister, singing to AC/DC You Shook me all night long (among others) at the top of our lungs. It offered a relief that few things can or ever have. I miss those days with her. I miss hanging out with my sister. We did have some really great times. Driving in whatever vehicle she currently had. The windows down, flying down 93 to 495 to see Paul's mother. Sometimes the kids with us, sometimes just the two of us. It was like a celebration that we made it out alive. It was like screaming to the world, look at us, we made it. But did we? Really? Months like this, I question it myself.

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