Tonight he dropped the bomb..

No he didn't fart or have a huge bowel movement which is what we usually refer to as "the bomb". Instead he told me something that he's been keeping to himself for the past few weeks. His RSD has spread. Hearing those words took all the air out of my lungs.I don't know which bothered me more, the fact that his RSD has spread or the fact that he kept it to himself for this long. I know in the long term, the fact that the RSD has spread will bother me more. But for that initial moment, it stung.I love my husband very much, I hate what RSD has done to him so far. To find out that it has spread even more, well it's just plain devastating. It has spread to his back. Or from the way it sounds, to his spine. I can't even put in to words how horrifying it is for me. What if he loses his ability to walk? I mean it started in his wrist and now he can't use his arm. He goes to the doctor on Monday and they'll more than likely run some tests but from his talk with the doctor, the doctor believes it has spread.What do we do now? Where do we go from here? How is this latest setback going to effect us. How is this going to change our lives? Why am I crying? What will that solve? What will it help? He's laying in bed now and I'm hiding in the living room because the last thing he needs to see is me crying. I am strong, we can get through this, this is just a bump in the road. Life will go on. We will get through this, but right now, I need the time to grieve the life I was getting used to. I need time to understand and process, life is ever changing. But my love for him, that is unwavering.