Here I sit..

It's a little after 1 AM and I have not yet gone to sleep. I did nap earlier but that's not why I can't sleep. I can't sleep because I am worried about what the morning will bring. I am worried about what will be said at the doctors. I know that things will change. I realize there's a possibility that we may need to move. No seriously, we may need to move because of his worsening disability.

We are currently on the second floor and if it has indeed travelled in to his back and spine, climbing stairs will become a thing of the past.I am thankful for the coworker who willingly said she'd work for me today, since it's after midnight, so I can go with my husband. But also, so I can stay up late tonight and obsess over what changes will be coming.

I don't do well with changes. At all, ever. It's an ongoing problem for me. It's also one I passed on to our oldest child. Sorry for that kid. At 18 she finds change horrifying. In fact, her boyfriends schedule recently changed and she about lost her shit everywhere. Had a meltdown of enormous proportions. Our son at 16 doesn't care much for change but can deal with it. Here we are with another change coming.I love my husband and I know he loves me, the rest, we'll figure out as we go along.

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