Insects and husbands
What purpose do they serve other than to annoy the ever living shit out of human beings? Now I'm not talking honey bees and such. I'm talk about mosquitoes who's only purpose seems to be to make me slap myself in the face. A fact I should not be announcing to the Internet but one I am anyway. I slapped myself hard in the face over a mosquito that is trying to give me Eastern Equine Encephalitis or West Nile Virus. They also spread malaria, I could get malaria. You don't know, it could happen.
I didn't think I'd need to wear Deep Woods Off to sit in my living room but apparently I do. I should get some nice citronella candles. I actually like the smell of those. What is it about my blood that makes all the mosquitoes want me? Do I taste good? Are my veins or arteries right near the top? Easy access for the death bringers. Nice of me to make myself a tasty morsel for mosquitoes on my own couch.
In other news, why is it so hard for my husband to answer yes and no questions? Do you want to come upstairs with me? I wait for thirty-five hours and he still hasn't answered. Small children have died waiting for his yes or no answer. Okay so maybe I am being a bit dramatic but it's really fucking irritating. Today I asked him to go the bank and deposit my check as cash. You can totally take your paycheck at our local bank and ask them to deposit it as cash, meaning they cash the check, then deposit the cash in your account. I call from work, while using the ladies room and ask very quietly not wanting coworkers to think I'm talking to my waste material and I ask, "did you ask the bank to deposit the check as cash?" Dead silence. Couldn't even hear the man breathing. I wait and wait and wait and wait. So we all know what this means right? Obviously he did not ask the teller to deposit my check as cash. We know this because of his inability to answer me. I got upset and told him I was upset.
Now I'm being attacked by death bringing mosquitoes, coincidence? I think NOT!
I didn't think I'd need to wear Deep Woods Off to sit in my living room but apparently I do. I should get some nice citronella candles. I actually like the smell of those. What is it about my blood that makes all the mosquitoes want me? Do I taste good? Are my veins or arteries right near the top? Easy access for the death bringers. Nice of me to make myself a tasty morsel for mosquitoes on my own couch.
In other news, why is it so hard for my husband to answer yes and no questions? Do you want to come upstairs with me? I wait for thirty-five hours and he still hasn't answered. Small children have died waiting for his yes or no answer. Okay so maybe I am being a bit dramatic but it's really fucking irritating. Today I asked him to go the bank and deposit my check as cash. You can totally take your paycheck at our local bank and ask them to deposit it as cash, meaning they cash the check, then deposit the cash in your account. I call from work, while using the ladies room and ask very quietly not wanting coworkers to think I'm talking to my waste material and I ask, "did you ask the bank to deposit the check as cash?" Dead silence. Couldn't even hear the man breathing. I wait and wait and wait and wait. So we all know what this means right? Obviously he did not ask the teller to deposit my check as cash. We know this because of his inability to answer me. I got upset and told him I was upset.
Now I'm being attacked by death bringing mosquitoes, coincidence? I think NOT!
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