I wrote his amazing post...
and this stupid thing ATE IT. I think the things that eat your forks, spoons and socks from the dryer eat posts. But only ones where you are gloringly magnificent in all words from your fingertips. The ones where you misspell, misquote and just generally drool on yourself come out fine. Which means a good portion of my posts come out great. *sigh*
I have to say I love getting holiday family newsletters. Little Derek is now the leader of the free world while his sister has found a cure for cancer. Bless both their little hearts. They both have high honors in all classes and feed the homeless on weekends. We know this is bullshit, little Derek is one step away from a lengthy prison sentence and we’ll be lucky if his sister can make it to 13 without needing rehab. What would we do without those newsletters?
Every year I tell R that I am going to write a family newsletter, but I’m going to be truthful. I’d start it out with well another year has come and gone, because obviously most people don’t realize it’s been a whole year since they’ve heard from me. I’d then begin with my own accomplishments, such as managing to make it to work on time a good 27% of the time. Leading to me getting a notation on my evaluation at work telling me I need to improve greatly in my punctuality. I’m also proud to say I have joined a fitness center, I started out the year strong going three days a week and have finished up the year not having gone for three months straight. My crowning achievement of which I am most proud, I still have more teeth in my mouth than they have removed even if my smile does resemble a Jack O Lantern. I continue to be neat and organized while never remembering where my car keys are or where the hell I parked the stupid thing. My love for reading continues and I’ve managed to hit the library quite a bit this year. I have also bought every Stephen King and Dean Koontz book released this year as well. I love and support my family while allowing them to be exactly who they are and accepting them as they come. I know I can manage their lives much better but they just won’t let me.
R is still R. Falling asleep while smoking which has caused us to confine him to the balcony for smoking, getting up and down all night long so that I don’t get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I’ll be in perfect form if we ever have another kid. He has continued his ADD boy ways and has continued to add on to his collection of crap. Now we don’t just have dirty Arkansas quartz in our house, but we also have six hundred knives, forty swords of various size, one hundred fifty watches of which not one tells the right time. Add to that his calligraphy collection, wood burning kits and sketching tools and you have our living room motif. I call it early crayola with a dash of dirt. He has spent more money on sharper image ionic breezes than most under-developed nations have spent on health care. We still get sick and the cat hair still gets to us. I’m guessing they’ll make our lives perfect once we finish paying for them. I believe that’s in the year 2010. Although Im thinking vacuuming might help too. Speaking of cat hair and pets, this year he has added two birds and a fish tank to our zoo. If he keeps going we’re going to have to move to make room for his latest obsessions. R continues to be my rock and my center. He continues to support me and the children and lets me know I am loved in one way or another each and every day.
I’m also proud to say after the conclusion of H’s assault case early this year and her six month vacation from school she has returned to school once again in September. H has decided to take the 14 year school plan. No need to rush it. She has not continued her outstanding ability to hit the cycle receiving every grade from an A to an F. She now only gets A’s or F’s, no in betweens. We hope to see improvement in the coming year. She has missed more days than she’s attended and we say that with pride. She’s only been suspended three times so far this school year, mostly for not attending school or for leaving early. By not letting her attend the school she doesn’t want to they are teaching her a valuable lesson, if you want an extra vacation just get caught walking home by the principal a couple of hours before school actually lets out. Who has yet to call us to inform us our daughter has been suspended at all. She has dated a bit more this year. I don’t know if that’s a blessing or a curse. Although the one she dates with a car fetches me soda so that was a blessing. Course he’s an idiot so it’s a curse. In our daily life she continues to be an amazing force in our lives. Her kind heart and gentle nature continue to amaze us. While school may not be her thing, being an amazing person is most definitely her thing.
D has finished off his junior high years with a party in June where I am proud to report not one family member got drunk and embarrassed another. This year we were able to embarrass each other without the use of alcohol. D has not followed in his sisters footsteps and in fact, while missing as many days as she has, he has not gotten suspended, not even once amen on that. I can only pay for one legal defense fund at a time and still making payments on HJ’s. While not finding the cure for cancer, he has saved the world from alien invasions on his Play Station Time Sucking machine. We didn’t see him at one point for three days straight and simply had to slip his meals under his door. I hope he was eating them. He’s gone through four cell phones in one year and I don’t think he’s managed to make a single phone call on any of them. He’s our techno wizard course we’re still not allowed to discuss his reformatting of the schools computer system. They’re not sure if they’re going to charge him with anything or not because the system is running better now than it ever has. Maybe he should charge them? I would discuss his academic career however he’s gone from the honor roll to home work interferes with my gaming time. He has brought home enough F’s this school year to date that we’re no longer shocked by them. He continues to astound us with his very analytical mind. He keeps things organized and focused for us at all times. His dry humor keeps us laughing and smiling no matter how tough things get.
Our children are on the opposite end of the spectrum as each other, they compliment each other perfectly. Our family has made it through another year mostly intact. We still manage to laugh and love and that’s all right by us.
I have to say I love getting holiday family newsletters. Little Derek is now the leader of the free world while his sister has found a cure for cancer. Bless both their little hearts. They both have high honors in all classes and feed the homeless on weekends. We know this is bullshit, little Derek is one step away from a lengthy prison sentence and we’ll be lucky if his sister can make it to 13 without needing rehab. What would we do without those newsletters?
Every year I tell R that I am going to write a family newsletter, but I’m going to be truthful. I’d start it out with well another year has come and gone, because obviously most people don’t realize it’s been a whole year since they’ve heard from me. I’d then begin with my own accomplishments, such as managing to make it to work on time a good 27% of the time. Leading to me getting a notation on my evaluation at work telling me I need to improve greatly in my punctuality. I’m also proud to say I have joined a fitness center, I started out the year strong going three days a week and have finished up the year not having gone for three months straight. My crowning achievement of which I am most proud, I still have more teeth in my mouth than they have removed even if my smile does resemble a Jack O Lantern. I continue to be neat and organized while never remembering where my car keys are or where the hell I parked the stupid thing. My love for reading continues and I’ve managed to hit the library quite a bit this year. I have also bought every Stephen King and Dean Koontz book released this year as well. I love and support my family while allowing them to be exactly who they are and accepting them as they come. I know I can manage their lives much better but they just won’t let me.
R is still R. Falling asleep while smoking which has caused us to confine him to the balcony for smoking, getting up and down all night long so that I don’t get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I’ll be in perfect form if we ever have another kid. He has continued his ADD boy ways and has continued to add on to his collection of crap. Now we don’t just have dirty Arkansas quartz in our house, but we also have six hundred knives, forty swords of various size, one hundred fifty watches of which not one tells the right time. Add to that his calligraphy collection, wood burning kits and sketching tools and you have our living room motif. I call it early crayola with a dash of dirt. He has spent more money on sharper image ionic breezes than most under-developed nations have spent on health care. We still get sick and the cat hair still gets to us. I’m guessing they’ll make our lives perfect once we finish paying for them. I believe that’s in the year 2010. Although Im thinking vacuuming might help too. Speaking of cat hair and pets, this year he has added two birds and a fish tank to our zoo. If he keeps going we’re going to have to move to make room for his latest obsessions. R continues to be my rock and my center. He continues to support me and the children and lets me know I am loved in one way or another each and every day.
I’m also proud to say after the conclusion of H’s assault case early this year and her six month vacation from school she has returned to school once again in September. H has decided to take the 14 year school plan. No need to rush it. She has not continued her outstanding ability to hit the cycle receiving every grade from an A to an F. She now only gets A’s or F’s, no in betweens. We hope to see improvement in the coming year. She has missed more days than she’s attended and we say that with pride. She’s only been suspended three times so far this school year, mostly for not attending school or for leaving early. By not letting her attend the school she doesn’t want to they are teaching her a valuable lesson, if you want an extra vacation just get caught walking home by the principal a couple of hours before school actually lets out. Who has yet to call us to inform us our daughter has been suspended at all. She has dated a bit more this year. I don’t know if that’s a blessing or a curse. Although the one she dates with a car fetches me soda so that was a blessing. Course he’s an idiot so it’s a curse. In our daily life she continues to be an amazing force in our lives. Her kind heart and gentle nature continue to amaze us. While school may not be her thing, being an amazing person is most definitely her thing.
D has finished off his junior high years with a party in June where I am proud to report not one family member got drunk and embarrassed another. This year we were able to embarrass each other without the use of alcohol. D has not followed in his sisters footsteps and in fact, while missing as many days as she has, he has not gotten suspended, not even once amen on that. I can only pay for one legal defense fund at a time and still making payments on HJ’s. While not finding the cure for cancer, he has saved the world from alien invasions on his Play Station Time Sucking machine. We didn’t see him at one point for three days straight and simply had to slip his meals under his door. I hope he was eating them. He’s gone through four cell phones in one year and I don’t think he’s managed to make a single phone call on any of them. He’s our techno wizard course we’re still not allowed to discuss his reformatting of the schools computer system. They’re not sure if they’re going to charge him with anything or not because the system is running better now than it ever has. Maybe he should charge them? I would discuss his academic career however he’s gone from the honor roll to home work interferes with my gaming time. He has brought home enough F’s this school year to date that we’re no longer shocked by them. He continues to astound us with his very analytical mind. He keeps things organized and focused for us at all times. His dry humor keeps us laughing and smiling no matter how tough things get.
Our children are on the opposite end of the spectrum as each other, they compliment each other perfectly. Our family has made it through another year mostly intact. We still manage to laugh and love and that’s all right by us.
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