Family yes, that's what we are..
H comes walking out in to the kitchen, she wanted a drink, she yells in to her father, hey Da-Da, Merry Christmas. He says Happy New Year Pumpkin. Now nothing would be wrong with this if it were say… December. But it’s AUGUST. These people just ain’t right. She then yelled at the kittens how many times do I have to remind you not to run in the house, none of you better be holding scissors. Then she poured her drink and went back to her room. You never know what she’ll come out with. This is the same child that earlier today had a conversation with her Aunt’s boyfriend on forest loss and oil spills. She will not discuss religion or politics she told him, but she has no problem discussing nature. He came up to me after and said she is very intelligent. It’s amazing having a conversation with her.
It’s not just my daughter though….Once we were driving home a few years ago and D said shhhhhh. I said what? He said shhhh the yeast is rising. So we then all became quiet. About five minutes later he comes out with, BING. We all knew the yeast was done and we could talk again. He didn’t need to say the yeast is done, we just all knew it. What yeast? I have no idea, maybe somewhere in the world there was yeast rising and he knew it ,and he knew that if we weren’t quiet, the yeast would have collapsed. When my sons shoes were untied he used to say they were leaking. He calls it plugged out instead of unplugged. You plug it in and plug it out. Makes perfect sense if you think about it. At least to him and who am I to argue. How do I know he’s not right. Just because we’ve been saying unplugged for so long doesn’t mean the correct terminology isn’t plugged out. He’s also the child that got a 99 for his fourth quarter grade in Math.
I’ve mentioned it before but R has to lock the house door three times, click the automatic lock on his keychain for his Pathfinder three times and check the expiration dates on all the food we eat. This is something he’s passed on to D as well. He has to count cats three times before going to bed to make sure no one slipped out when he went out on the balcony to smoke his last butt for the night. He hates wet socks and gets up frequently during the night due to his condition. But he checks on everyone while he’s up. He didn’t go to my family bbq today down in Massachusetts but missed us terribly while we were gone. He hides in our bedroom when we have company over, for the first three or four years we lived here no one believed I actually had a husband. He missed one of my nieces weddings but attended the other only long enough to hear the vows exchanged then headed home. He is a conservative but not a homophobic asshole. Which is nice since I am something of a fruit fly. He has an absolute blast with my gay friend M. He thinks he’s hilarious and likes him because he is exactly who he is and doesnt try to pretend to be anyone else. In fact, one of the last times my friend M was over, R asked him what size he was and the proceeded to give him all the pants he had grown out of, some that he didn’t even take the tags off of yet. Then there are days when others come and R scurries away to the bedroom to hibernate.
I am surrounded by madness, pure and utter madness and I wouldn’t have it any other way. These are normal moments in our day. You never know what anyone is going to come out with around my house.
It’s not just my daughter though….Once we were driving home a few years ago and D said shhhhhh. I said what? He said shhhh the yeast is rising. So we then all became quiet. About five minutes later he comes out with, BING. We all knew the yeast was done and we could talk again. He didn’t need to say the yeast is done, we just all knew it. What yeast? I have no idea, maybe somewhere in the world there was yeast rising and he knew it ,and he knew that if we weren’t quiet, the yeast would have collapsed. When my sons shoes were untied he used to say they were leaking. He calls it plugged out instead of unplugged. You plug it in and plug it out. Makes perfect sense if you think about it. At least to him and who am I to argue. How do I know he’s not right. Just because we’ve been saying unplugged for so long doesn’t mean the correct terminology isn’t plugged out. He’s also the child that got a 99 for his fourth quarter grade in Math.
I’ve mentioned it before but R has to lock the house door three times, click the automatic lock on his keychain for his Pathfinder three times and check the expiration dates on all the food we eat. This is something he’s passed on to D as well. He has to count cats three times before going to bed to make sure no one slipped out when he went out on the balcony to smoke his last butt for the night. He hates wet socks and gets up frequently during the night due to his condition. But he checks on everyone while he’s up. He didn’t go to my family bbq today down in Massachusetts but missed us terribly while we were gone. He hides in our bedroom when we have company over, for the first three or four years we lived here no one believed I actually had a husband. He missed one of my nieces weddings but attended the other only long enough to hear the vows exchanged then headed home. He is a conservative but not a homophobic asshole. Which is nice since I am something of a fruit fly. He has an absolute blast with my gay friend M. He thinks he’s hilarious and likes him because he is exactly who he is and doesnt try to pretend to be anyone else. In fact, one of the last times my friend M was over, R asked him what size he was and the proceeded to give him all the pants he had grown out of, some that he didn’t even take the tags off of yet. Then there are days when others come and R scurries away to the bedroom to hibernate.
I am surrounded by madness, pure and utter madness and I wouldn’t have it any other way. These are normal moments in our day. You never know what anyone is going to come out with around my house.
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