Tomorrow is one month..
Tomorrow is one month since my mother passed away. I hate when people call it expired. As if the person had a use by date like milk or cheese. Use Elaine R Doherty by September 3rd 2008. Each day is different, luckily work is busy so there's not a lot of time to stew during the day. Nights are horrible. I get in to my own head and well, it's not pretty in there. I read and re-read the condolence cards while crying at night. It helps. Gives me focus. Yesterday one of my favorites passed away at my work. It was very hard to say the least. I asked him to tell my mom I said hi and I miss her when he sees her.
Next Friday I'll be going to Worcester to help pick out her stone and the engraving on it. I may pick her up as well and have her spend some time here. The stone and engraving take about three weeks so we should be able to have her burial November 1st or 2nd. Her stuff is still all over my house and it's nice. I admit it, it's nice to have stuff from her apartment all over mine. It's a comfort. What's really funny about all this is:
My sister doesn't mind that she looks like her any more and sees it herself now.
My brother who used to dread Friday morning phone calls about her bowels and friends now wishes for an eternity of Friday mornings.
I don't mind being compared to her any more. I actually take it as a compliment.
And my final thought for tonight, while my mother has been gone one month tomorrow, my daughter is one month further along in her pregnancy. My grand daughter is one month closer to being born. Not all is negative. I saw a rainbow the other day that was so vibrant it took my breath away. It was rainy and then all of a sudden a rainbow to end all rainbows. It was huge and thick. It was hope and brilliance. It was life.
Next Friday I'll be going to Worcester to help pick out her stone and the engraving on it. I may pick her up as well and have her spend some time here. The stone and engraving take about three weeks so we should be able to have her burial November 1st or 2nd. Her stuff is still all over my house and it's nice. I admit it, it's nice to have stuff from her apartment all over mine. It's a comfort. What's really funny about all this is:
My sister doesn't mind that she looks like her any more and sees it herself now.
My brother who used to dread Friday morning phone calls about her bowels and friends now wishes for an eternity of Friday mornings.
I don't mind being compared to her any more. I actually take it as a compliment.
And my final thought for tonight, while my mother has been gone one month tomorrow, my daughter is one month further along in her pregnancy. My grand daughter is one month closer to being born. Not all is negative. I saw a rainbow the other day that was so vibrant it took my breath away. It was rainy and then all of a sudden a rainbow to end all rainbows. It was huge and thick. It was hope and brilliance. It was life.
Comments
"My brother who used to dread Friday morning phone calls about her bowels and friends now wishes for an eternity of Friday mornings."
This is an important lesson for me.
Danged if that little girl didn't just pop out of the womb the spitting image of her grandma. It was such a comfort to her.
You will be hurting for some time. But what a gift that you have this new little life to look forward to.
"There'll be one child born in this world to carry on..."