Things in my head..

Sometimes I want to get in my van and drive until I run out of gas. With no purpose or forethought. I just want to drive until I literally can’t drive any more. I also want to scream until I can’t scream any more. Until I can’t catch my breath. Until a whisper is all that I can utter.I want to paint my bedroom wall in so many colors you can’t tell where one starts and the other ends.I want to cut off all my hair and what is left color it blue or some other dramatic color. I want to get a tattoo on my face of children, so that all the world can see what matters to me most. I want my weight and body to be what it was before I quit smoking. I want to strip naked and find myself beautiful. I want my husbands arms to work the way they once did, pain free and strong. I want my life to be the way it is in the movies. Where everything ends happily ever after.
This is why I try to stay out of my head, it’s scary in there sometimes. I feel better now.

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