Hot muggy weather makes me cranky
Hot muggy weather makes me cranky. It was humid again today and at one point I really did think I was melting. I figure since the human body is composed mostly of water, it’s quite possible to freeze to death one must be able to melt. My deodorant gave out about noontime. I have tried various kinds of deodorant but nothing seems to work on really hot humid days when I’m working. If I could just lie perfectly still and not move my deodorant would work great. I’ve tried men’s and women’s in all varieties. Hmmm, should I admit I have stinky pits? But that’s not why I’m blogging tonight. I am blogging because I was cranky today and decided to just get it out of my system, I should write about things that make me cranky and just leave them on here. That way I get them all out and they’re done with.
Things that make me cranky in no particular order:
1. People you see at family reunions that say call and write me, I so hate losing touch with you. They never write back or call. Better idea, be honest, say it was great seeing ya, see at the next function and be done with it. Honesty really is the best policy.
2. Family that you only hear from when things are horrible in their lives. When things are going good, they don’t call. I’d like to share in the joy and happiness just as much as in the sorrow and pain.
3. Do not tell complete strangers your entire life history in a grocery store. They are not your friends, they are not your counselor, therapist or other wise paid to give you greater mental health. (Paul’s Mother, this means you.) The 17 year old cashier does not need to know you, bleed out your pores when you eat mayonnaise. She or he does not need to know that eggs put you right in to a coma and that’s why you don’t buy any.
4. People who work in nursing homes with the demented and elderly and get upset when these people wet themselves. Sometimes they don’t know who they are never mind that they have bodily functions. Plus, If my bladder is still working to make pee at 88, I’ll be happy about that, never mind worrying about getting to the toilet. If you can not handle, pee, poo or other bodily functions, please exit the building and don’t look back. We won’t miss you.
5. People who get in the 10 items or less line with 24 items. If you have more items in your cart than fingers on your hand, you can not be in that line! Common sense would tell you that. Also, don’t write a check on top of having 14 more items than you should. That should be punishable by up to and including death.
6. People that pull out in front you, but hesitate first. Like oh should I? No, I shouldn’t. Then just as you’re almost on top of them, boom they pull out. Oh I’d like to ram them. I especially love when they do that, then go 5 mph’s up the road. You’re in such a hurry to pull out in front of me, pick up the pace.
7. People who don’t use directionals in certain circumstances and especially those in brand new cars! Come on, there may be no ashtray now a days, but don’t tell me they took your directionals too.
8. People who get in the fast lane and drive the exact same speed as the person in the middle or far right lane. If you’re in the fast lane, go faster than the car next to you. It’s the rule.
9. Oh , I’m on a roll with driving. Here’s a huge one. In the winter, when you leave extra space between the car in front of you and you due to icy/snowy road conditions and some asshole has to cut over in front of you and ride in the space. I didn’t space myself this distance for you to cut over in the lane, I made it so if any one skids or something happens, I have more reaction time to hopefully prevent further injury. Oh and btw, use your fucking directional.
Things that make me cranky in no particular order:
1. People you see at family reunions that say call and write me, I so hate losing touch with you. They never write back or call. Better idea, be honest, say it was great seeing ya, see at the next function and be done with it. Honesty really is the best policy.
2. Family that you only hear from when things are horrible in their lives. When things are going good, they don’t call. I’d like to share in the joy and happiness just as much as in the sorrow and pain.
3. Do not tell complete strangers your entire life history in a grocery store. They are not your friends, they are not your counselor, therapist or other wise paid to give you greater mental health. (Paul’s Mother, this means you.) The 17 year old cashier does not need to know you, bleed out your pores when you eat mayonnaise. She or he does not need to know that eggs put you right in to a coma and that’s why you don’t buy any.
4. People who work in nursing homes with the demented and elderly and get upset when these people wet themselves. Sometimes they don’t know who they are never mind that they have bodily functions. Plus, If my bladder is still working to make pee at 88, I’ll be happy about that, never mind worrying about getting to the toilet. If you can not handle, pee, poo or other bodily functions, please exit the building and don’t look back. We won’t miss you.
5. People who get in the 10 items or less line with 24 items. If you have more items in your cart than fingers on your hand, you can not be in that line! Common sense would tell you that. Also, don’t write a check on top of having 14 more items than you should. That should be punishable by up to and including death.
6. People that pull out in front you, but hesitate first. Like oh should I? No, I shouldn’t. Then just as you’re almost on top of them, boom they pull out. Oh I’d like to ram them. I especially love when they do that, then go 5 mph’s up the road. You’re in such a hurry to pull out in front of me, pick up the pace.
7. People who don’t use directionals in certain circumstances and especially those in brand new cars! Come on, there may be no ashtray now a days, but don’t tell me they took your directionals too.
8. People who get in the fast lane and drive the exact same speed as the person in the middle or far right lane. If you’re in the fast lane, go faster than the car next to you. It’s the rule.
9. Oh , I’m on a roll with driving. Here’s a huge one. In the winter, when you leave extra space between the car in front of you and you due to icy/snowy road conditions and some asshole has to cut over in front of you and ride in the space. I didn’t space myself this distance for you to cut over in the lane, I made it so if any one skids or something happens, I have more reaction time to hopefully prevent further injury. Oh and btw, use your fucking directional.
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