There are many stories to tell from my childhood. Of course it all starts with my parents.
They seem like a nice normal couple up there don't they? There's nothing unusual or evil looking about them. My father was a handsome man and my mother was a beautiful woman. They married three days after my mother turned eighteen, my father was twenty-eight. Why they married is beyond me. Why they had children at all boggles my mind. There are people in this world that are not meant to have children, that pretty normal looking pair up there, should not have had children. Not to say I am not glad I was born, because regardless of what I lived through at their hands, I am truly glad to be alive. I have a good life now. I have a husband who loves me and understands me and my little quirks. I have two amazing adult children and a grand daughter that makes every day a miracle in and of itself. But life was not always good.
Four out of the Five Children
I am the youngest of five children to that lovely couple. Of the five born, only three of us are left. My sister Bonnie Lee passed away at two months old from a variety of stories, but it seems like pneumonia may be as good a reason as any. My sister Phyllis passed away at age 27 because she had epilepsy and we believe that the failure of my parents to have her staples removed from her head when they were due to caused her death. My mother blames my father and states he wouldn't let her go or take her. My paternal grandmother states she offered to take my mother but my mother refused. Personally I don't fucking care who takes the blame because it really doesn't matter. What does matter is she is no longer with us. I never met Bonnie Lee as she was born seven years before I was and passed away as an infant. Losing children is never easy and I think that each one did take something out of my mother, something she didn't really have to spare.
The funny part is, to look at pictures, we really were a happy looking family. Unless you look closely at my sisters eyes, the one on the end. If you look at her eyes, you can see the sadness. I believe she's about the age is all started for her. Or pretty close to it. The older one's had learned to fake it and it hadn't started fully for me yet.
Sometimes, when you look at photos you can see the life behind them and sometimes you just can't.
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