They say that breaking up is hard to do..

They say that breaking up is hard to do, now I know, I know that it's true. This isn't the first break up we've gone through as a family but this is certainly the hardest. I find myself crying at all different times for all different reasons. It's not my relationship ending, but it is. It's the relationship I have formed over the past four plus years with someone. It's time spent together doing laundry, making supper, hanging out and watching movies. It's watching this person accomplish so much and be so proud of all that they have done. They are not perfect and some days have been very rough. But I am not perfect and we all have room to grow. It's just so hard.

It's hard because over those four years I have come to accept this person as family. As a member of my family, my immediate family, as one of my own children. We have laughed together and cried together. We have gone through birth and death together. We have grown closer over these past years than just that person my family member is dating. He is one of my own and now he's leaving and to be honest it almost feels like a death. My heart hurts and I cry. I cry over the loss of this person.

I am not choosing sides and there are decisions being made that I have no right to be a part of and I understand that, but I need to express how I feel too. I need to express how this end of a relationship has changed things in my life. They need to do what is right for them no matter the outcome for me and I am good with that. I truly am, but I need it known that my heart is aching too. That while I love them both, my loyalty always lies with my own child but I can still empathize with the other person too. I can feel their pain and console them just as I feel my own child's pain and console her too.

Life it is a changing and some of these changes are for the better and some are not. With love, I think we can find our way like we always do. Just allow me these tears and understand they do not reflect a disagreement just simply mourning a loss of what once was...........

Comments

Denise said…
I'm sorry. It is really hard -- for everyone involved.
October 24, 2011 at 9:25 AM
Emsxiety said…
Thanks Denise. It really is for everyone.
October 24, 2011 at 4:21 PM
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