Nice conversations...

Over the past couple of days I've had some nice conversations with my siblings. My sister Angelfish Sis and I have talked numerous times over the past few days on the phone and got together on the 2nd anniversary of Paul's Mother's passing to decorate her grave site for Fall. To be honest, we had a really good time. I know weird right, having a good time at a grave site. What's wrong with us? Nothing really. We dug, she got scared and said where's Mom? I said hopefully six feet under or is that just a cliche? I'll bury you six feet under. Course we were digging with garden tools from the dollar store so the chances of us hitting my mothers cask was slim to nil. The fact that it didn't snap in half in our hands or fold like an accordion was mysterious enough. We took turns digging and chatting. We planted mums and watered them using water bottles from the vehicles. Lana-Rose ran from grave to grave gathering flowers for Great Nana's grave. Which we promptly returned to their original owner.  But it was a nice visit. We wrote on balloons and let them go. With Lana-Rose waving buh byes to the balloon. Funny because a year ago she was screaming in fear at the sight of the balloons. This year she was the one setting them free. It's become a ritual and one she now welcomes. We write our notes and send them away. The talk my sister and I had was honest and raw. Not in the sobbing uncontrollably sniffling with our emotions out for all to see, but a nice honest and raw talk about how our lives have changed over the past two years. Some for the better, some not. But all in all, happy with where we are in our lives. Happy with our relationship with each other. We bonded when Paul's Mother passed away. She handled a lot of the hard stuff with me as her back up. She was closer and a lot fell to her, but I tried to help her. I backed her 100% on everything and it certainly has made all of this easier.
If I have one piece of advice for people going through this, it's stick together. Pull each other through, it makes all the difference. Here on the other side now of it all, having each other helped immensely. It still helps, having each other.

Then tonight I had a nice talk with Paul's Mother's Son. It was an excellent conversation. We argued over who was sicker and who took more pills, hence who was more like Paul's Mother. He won, having a heart attack, triple by-pass and being in a coma for a week put him over the top, all this year. Show off. He said a heart attack beats a wheeze. I had to agree only because he gets pouty if he loses.  We connected, we shared, we joke and he expressed how much he missed my mother in his own way. We were talking about if she were alive when he had his heart attack she would have flown down to be with him. He said after she got done he'd have pulled his own plug. I told him it would have been priceless, I'd have helped her pay for the flight down. He told me he loved me too. To some this may seem weird, but to us, it was right. It was a good place to be for us.

Our lives are different, but we shared a Mother who we lost, each of us have dealt with it in our own way. The fact that we can all connect, we can all discuss our loss and share the joys and sorrows is a wonderful thing. I still miss my Mommie but I'm glad I have the siblings I do to share my grief with. Love you guys!