My son is gay..

This post has been a few days in the making. Why? Because I needed to come to terms with the title of this post, "my son is gay." His coming out was a surprise to me. The story, HJ came in to me with tears in her eyes and she said Mom I have something very important to tell you and I need you in the other room. I went in to their room and Heather said I saw Dylan wrote I love so and so on his skype and I asked him if he's gay and he said yes. (he's asked for privacy for his boyfriend and I am respecting that.) She said Mom I have been calling him faggot for years and had I known I'd have never tossed that word around so easily. I am a horrible sister and a horrible person. I said no you're not. You're a sister who loves her brother very much and would never purposely do anything to hurt him. I turned to my son and I said, you are gay? He said yes, almost questionly. My heart went out to him and in my true nature I said well then what the fuck is up with your room? It's a pigsty. Dude you have a stereotype to live up to! We all laughed and he instantly relaxed. I asked if we could tell his father and he said yes, I don't care who knows now. I asked him how long he had known he was gay and he said since middle school. I came in told his father who immediately went in to his son and told him he was proud of him for being so strong and telling us. He told him that he loved him very much and he will always be his son. That's why I married this man. He's amazing, just amazing.

I then came in to my bedroom and cried for about a half hour. For the next two days I walked around with the words, my son is gay stuck in my head. I had a hard time falling asleep. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't wrap my head around it. I loved him exactly the same as I did before he told me. I felt more protective of him since he told me. So why was I having such a hard time with it all. Why couldn't I be like my husband and accept and move on.

Tonight I talked to my friend Timmy and told him that my son had come out to us this past weekend. He asked how my son was and then asked how I was. I explained to him how it went, the people in the family that know have been very supportive and loving. We may be dysfunctional as all get out, but we can be amazingly supportive and accepting. My nephew said he's the man and I love him and if anyone fucks with him I'll kill em. Nick said I love you, I got your back. My niece Boo said aww tell him I love him. That must have been hard for him. My sister told him she loved him and she was there for him. So what was up with me? After talking with Timmy I realized what was wrong with me. I was saddened that I hadn't known and that he hadn't felt comfortable coming to me before this time. I see my son every day. I talk to my son every day. Why didn't I know? I still don't know why I didn't know. I did ask him why he didn't tell us sooner and he said he wasn't ready. Timmy explained he didn't tell his mother until he was almost 25 and he wishes he had been as brave as my son at 18 to tell his mother. His mother was also saddened that she hadn't known and that he hadn't come to her sooner. It was as simple or maybe as complicated as that. He's very happy and that makes me very happy. He said it feels like a heavy weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

What all this boils down to is, my son is gay and I'm totally okay with that.