Parenting.. I'm doing it all wrong.
Here's the thing, it appears with this parenting stuff, I'm doing it all wrong. Apparently, yes I like that word, when your children do things that you don't agree with, you can simply throw them out! Silly me, I thought that your job as a parent was to be supportive. To help them navigate through life in the way they're meant to lead. To let them know that no matter what happens, you will always be there for them in whatever way possible. It may not always be to pick them up and dust them off, sometimes it's cheering from the sidelines as they pick themselves up and dust themselves off. But apparently, children are disposable. You can just toss them out!
When we found out my unwed teenage daughter was pregnant, it was not what we wanted for her life. I wanted college and jobs and world travel. But that's what I wanted for her, that's not the direction her life was taking. Her father keeps saying he just wanted her to marry a rich doctor. God I love him. Yes, we could have thrown her out. As it appears what quite a few parents in similar situations actually do. Yes, when they are at their most vulnerable, that's when you kick them out and say fend for yourself. Or, is that when you stand beside them and say, we'll help you any way we can, however this child is yours to raise if that's what you choose. We won't change all the diapers, stay up all night so you can sleep and basically raise the child for you. We will help you do what you need to do as a parent. Our daughter is a great mother with more patience than I ever had. Her daughter knows who her mother is and who has the final say in all things regarding her. She also knows that if she does a sad face, Nana will go get her strawberries, but that is my right as Nana. She is raising her child with our help, but she's doing the heavy lifting as it should be!
When my son came out to us we never considered kicking him out. Which apparently is the go to response for a lot of parents. I can't even fathom looking at that man we brought in to this world and saying, you're not who we want you to be, get out! He is exactly who we want him to be, himself. He is still finding himself and has found a path that seems to be taking him in the right direction of where he wants to be. We will continue to cheer him on and encourage him.
I love my adult children and I am loving watching them find their own way in life. May they always know that their father and I will be here for them to love them and support them in the way we hope they need it most!
When we found out my unwed teenage daughter was pregnant, it was not what we wanted for her life. I wanted college and jobs and world travel. But that's what I wanted for her, that's not the direction her life was taking. Her father keeps saying he just wanted her to marry a rich doctor. God I love him. Yes, we could have thrown her out. As it appears what quite a few parents in similar situations actually do. Yes, when they are at their most vulnerable, that's when you kick them out and say fend for yourself. Or, is that when you stand beside them and say, we'll help you any way we can, however this child is yours to raise if that's what you choose. We won't change all the diapers, stay up all night so you can sleep and basically raise the child for you. We will help you do what you need to do as a parent. Our daughter is a great mother with more patience than I ever had. Her daughter knows who her mother is and who has the final say in all things regarding her. She also knows that if she does a sad face, Nana will go get her strawberries, but that is my right as Nana. She is raising her child with our help, but she's doing the heavy lifting as it should be!
When my son came out to us we never considered kicking him out. Which apparently is the go to response for a lot of parents. I can't even fathom looking at that man we brought in to this world and saying, you're not who we want you to be, get out! He is exactly who we want him to be, himself. He is still finding himself and has found a path that seems to be taking him in the right direction of where he wants to be. We will continue to cheer him on and encourage him.
I love my adult children and I am loving watching them find their own way in life. May they always know that their father and I will be here for them to love them and support them in the way we hope they need it most!
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