Does anyone have a car they want to give me?
I figured I'd ask you internet if anyone had a car they wanted to give me. I mean my Swagger Wagon has seen better days and well as much of a luxury as it seems, we really do need two vehicles. Now I understand we are in a recession and times are tough for everyone. I'm not the only one getting their ass kicked in more ways than one money wise. However, I figured what could it hurt to ask for someone to give you a car. I mean the worst that can happen is you'll say no. I know if someone asked me for one, I'd say no. But it doesn't hurt to ask.
With this car request I do have a few requirements. I was going to say requests but hell, I figured since I'm asking you to give me the car, I might as well go all out. I require it to have air conditioning that works. See if I get too hot I get car sick even if I'm driving. It's truth though, even if you don't believe me. It also needs cruise control. I have a hard time keeping a constant speed in a new vehicle and this will help me be able to do this with little effort on my part. Plus for long drives I want to rest my gas foot. It gets tired. I'm asking for a free car, why wouldn't I want life easier all the way around. I require that it seats at least six. Why six you ask when there are only five in our family? Well one of us is in a car seat and once that car seat is in, you can't really fit two more people with it in a five seat. Oh and it needs to have a working radio with CD. My current car has a tape deck. T A P E - D E C K! Do you feel my pain? I do not want a convertible or sunroof. Birds poop in those and I don't want bird poop in my free car. Another requirement is it can be no more than five to ten years old and have no more than 55,000- 60,000 miles on it. Figure since I'm being greedy I should go all out. If you do get me a car, please be sure it has a trunk and not a hatchback. Can't hide things in a hatch back. Did I not teach you anything? Oh and don't forget the CarFax!
Key-less entry is NOT a requirement. More than one key is a requirement because I have the tendency to lock my keys in the car or other places. This way some one can come rescue me with the spare key. Power windows and seats are also not required. I can crank a window and move my seat without help. I mean you are giving me the car so I shouldn't be overly picky. (Shh I know I asked for AC and Cruise control but let's not bring that up now.) I don't require an automatic, I can totally drive the shit out of a standard now. Also this doesn't have to be a car, it could also be a mini-van. I don't require AWD but I don't turn it down either. Something good in the snow is a requirement because I live in New Hampshire and we do get snow on occasion. I will turn down a white car however, because hello?? A white car? Shows dirt way too easy. No SUV's or trucks unless they get amazing gas mileage unless you are also throwing in a free gas for life card. What? Don't be jealous I thought of it. Also, a warranty package on it and maintenance package would be nice. Those oil changes can get pricey. I think I've about covered it. Oh and I'd like it to be green if possible. Forest green or hunter green would be nice. Neon green would be okay. Pea soup green not acceptable. That looks like baby poop and no one wants to list their car as baby poop green. Let's be honest on that.
For anyone that took this blog post seriously, shame on you! For those that enjoyed it with the humor I intended. Feel free to leave a comment below with your requirements for your free car!
With this car request I do have a few requirements. I was going to say requests but hell, I figured since I'm asking you to give me the car, I might as well go all out. I require it to have air conditioning that works. See if I get too hot I get car sick even if I'm driving. It's truth though, even if you don't believe me. It also needs cruise control. I have a hard time keeping a constant speed in a new vehicle and this will help me be able to do this with little effort on my part. Plus for long drives I want to rest my gas foot. It gets tired. I'm asking for a free car, why wouldn't I want life easier all the way around. I require that it seats at least six. Why six you ask when there are only five in our family? Well one of us is in a car seat and once that car seat is in, you can't really fit two more people with it in a five seat. Oh and it needs to have a working radio with CD. My current car has a tape deck. T A P E - D E C K! Do you feel my pain? I do not want a convertible or sunroof. Birds poop in those and I don't want bird poop in my free car. Another requirement is it can be no more than five to ten years old and have no more than 55,000- 60,000 miles on it. Figure since I'm being greedy I should go all out. If you do get me a car, please be sure it has a trunk and not a hatchback. Can't hide things in a hatch back. Did I not teach you anything? Oh and don't forget the CarFax!
Key-less entry is NOT a requirement. More than one key is a requirement because I have the tendency to lock my keys in the car or other places. This way some one can come rescue me with the spare key. Power windows and seats are also not required. I can crank a window and move my seat without help. I mean you are giving me the car so I shouldn't be overly picky. (Shh I know I asked for AC and Cruise control but let's not bring that up now.) I don't require an automatic, I can totally drive the shit out of a standard now. Also this doesn't have to be a car, it could also be a mini-van. I don't require AWD but I don't turn it down either. Something good in the snow is a requirement because I live in New Hampshire and we do get snow on occasion. I will turn down a white car however, because hello?? A white car? Shows dirt way too easy. No SUV's or trucks unless they get amazing gas mileage unless you are also throwing in a free gas for life card. What? Don't be jealous I thought of it. Also, a warranty package on it and maintenance package would be nice. Those oil changes can get pricey. I think I've about covered it. Oh and I'd like it to be green if possible. Forest green or hunter green would be nice. Neon green would be okay. Pea soup green not acceptable. That looks like baby poop and no one wants to list their car as baby poop green. Let's be honest on that.
For anyone that took this blog post seriously, shame on you! For those that enjoyed it with the humor I intended. Feel free to leave a comment below with your requirements for your free car!
Comments